Ok advice needed!

[yapyepyo]

Hi friends,

Wednesday a girl is coming over. I know her for a while now, she has farted in my face too. I told her I would cook for her and make the gassiest food EVER so that we could have a little fun. So my problem is, what is the best food to make so we can have the most fun?

Right now I'm thinking chili con carne. It has lots of beans, onions and chicken (chicken seems to work for her). To drink she will have beer. I think that will make her pretty gassy. What do you guys think? Should I make chili?

Yap

[fartsniffs]

What kind of smell are you looking for?

[fartsniffs]

For a well-balanced smell, throw in some broccoli. Beer will make them 'sour.'

[Karl]

Maccaroni,White beans,chips and gassy white wine.

[FartPallette69]

Hi friends,

Wednesday a girl is coming over. I know her for a while now, she has farted in my face too. I told her I would cook for her and make the gassiest food EVER so that we could have a little fun. So my problem is, what is the best food to make so we can have the most fun?

Right now I'm thinking chili con carne. It has lots of beans, onions and chicken (chicken seems to work for her). To drink she will have beer. I think that will make her pretty gassy. What do you guys think? Should I make chili?

Yap

First off let's hope there are no dissapointments.
I have been through this before where I have had a girl eat so many known gassy foods, and they just did not work, even if the girl has already been gassy. Sometimes you just can't control it and it will all come out the next day.
So here are some tricks I have learned. Beer does make a girl fart but it gives them the burps more, so all that gas will probably rise and you will get the wrong results.
Wine is great for getting a girl to fart more so than beer.
You do want to put some vegetables in the diet for balance of smell just as someone has mentioned before.
make sure she has roughage because too much meat can cause blockage. That will be no good.
Have her snack on some nuts as well. No not your nuts like peanuts and almonds etc.
Popcorn is great too. make sure all these things are lying around for snacks.
You're on the right track with chilli. but vegetarian chilli will give you best results also do not get rid of any of the juices in the can, use everything. that will make her most gassiest.
Try not to put too much cheese because with some girls cheese will cause blockage. Unless she is lactose, then still use light cheese because you do not want any accidents.
Unless of course you're into poo.
All said and done it really depends on the girl.
Things that make some girls gassy could do nothing for others. and visa versa.
Rule of thumb make sure she eats early and you guys spend the rest of the night together. that way the fuel has time to digest.
Like after food, watch a movie, or play a board game while sipping on wine.
that will make her loose and then the real party can start.
maybe go out and invest in a hookah and smoke some shisha (sic?) anything to get a girl full of air will always help. No do not pump her ass with a bike pump, as some here will argue that is not a real fart, so unless you want to get off on special effects than get off on the real thing keep it all natural.
If all else fails, dried fruits like apricots is a great back up plan. again, if she does not fart at all during the night you may want to hang out the next day because she will explode througout the day.
You are a head of the game though, if she has done this before for you then at least the comfort level won't get in the way. a lot of it is stage fright and it seems she is past all of that.
Now go and install hidden cameras and hook up the homies =)

Oh I almost forgot. HUMMUS has rarely failed me.
Great snack before dinner.

[afangorn]

I keep hearing good things about them Fiber One bars that you can pick up at most stores. Both from people on this forum and from my own girl.
Give her one of them as a pre-dinner snack or something like that. You want to remember that it takes TIME to digest and move that stuff along.

You'll want to allow AT LEAST 3-4 HOURS before getting the effects of the food she ate. So maybe you should plan it as a late lunch then a movie marathon together to pass the time until other things start passing

[1313Jr.1313]

afangorn is dead on. if she has 1 or 2 of those fiber one bars before dinner then you will be in for quite a night... especially if there's read meat at dinner.

[FartPallette69]

especially if there's read meat at dinner.

This was worth quoting.

[yapyepyo]

Thanks for all the replies guys!


First off let's hope there are no dissapointments.
I have been through this before where I have had a girl eat so many known gassy foods, and they just did not work, even if the girl has already been gassy. Sometimes you just can't control it and it will all come out the next day.

She gets gassy during mornings a lot. But she stays the night, so I'll catch it ;).



So here are some tricks I have learned. Beer does make a girl fart but it gives them the burps more, so all that gas will probably rise and you will get the wrong results.
Wine is great for getting a girl to fart more so than beer.

Beer has made her very very gassy every single time so I'm gonna go with the sure thing and try the wine some other time, thanks for the tip though!



You do want to put some vegetables in the diet for balance of smell just as someone has mentioned before.
make sure she has roughage because too much meat can cause blockage. That will be no good.
Have her snack on some nuts as well. No not your nuts like peanuts and almonds etc.
Popcorn is great too. make sure all these things are lying around for snacks.

Dude you sound like a fucking fart-magician, awesome.



Now go and install hidden cameras and hook up the homies =)

If he she gets very gassy I'll just do it again, I'll buy a camera and ask her if I can film it.

[QUOTE=afangorn]
Yes I heard about it too. The only problem is, I live in the Netherlands, they aren't sold here. Oh well, we still have weed ;)
[/qoute]


Here's what I'm going for:

Broccoli-soup. I'll just buy vegetable soup and throw in little bits of fresh broccoli.
Chili with chicken, brown beans, red onions.. I'll search for a recipe on the internet

Would it be better if she would really stuff herself? Also I planned to do a race, because the faster you eat, the more air you swallow. Thanks for the advice so far!

[FartPallette69]

As far as the beer goes yes go with things that are tried and proven.
me a fart magician? Oh the tricks I know and the stories I have.
I am not sure about stuffing herself, obviously that works in most circles, but I have witnessed it being bad in results. believe it or not some girls get stuffed so much they can't even fart, they just have stomach aches and the night will be miserable for both of you.
Eating fast doesn't always work either, that causes pain and discomfort, and heartburn.
This is why I suggested popcorn and hookah (you mentioned weed, that works too for that sort of thing) because that will be your air that she swallows.
So have her eat normal, and have her snack on popcorn.
As far as chili goes from my experience best results are from the can.
Like I said before the juices inside are the key ingrediants.
I guess because it marinates not really sure what the science behind it is.
You also want to try the hummus. See the main course is always not the important stuff. sometimes the snacks are what do it.
It doesn't hurt to try at least.
You also have to keep in mind, if you do too much, she will spend most of the night on the john.
those fiber one bars are good, but if she already has enough fiber it will not do the right kind of damage, again she will be on the john all night and very uncomfortable.

There is a science to have a gassy girl. what you want is her to not be in pain yet farting up a storm.
These are the formulas I have had work for me.

If you can get all of this on film, you would be the man.
I was kidding about the hidden camera thing, but hey if she is cool with it, then why the hell not?

Going back to pot smoking and girls farting, I never thought of this before, but I have witnessed a lot of girls fart back in high school from chilling out and smoking pot.
That is actually where I have seen a girl light her fart for the first time.
There was a small group of us, and one of the girls who used to make me pull her finger all the time when we were chillin (beer drinking pot smoking acid dropping) Anyhow we were all out in some park hidden by some trees, and she leans on her back legs all up and lights her fart on fire, got a laugh from all of us (my pretentious laugh covering up the turn on) and she did it a few times.
I have had a few experiences where girls would fart while smoking the herb.
Another time there was this girl she went and bought an ounce and I ran into her and she was like "smoke this with me"
she was pretty cute small, petite, and I went to her house, just us two chilling listening to floyd, jethro, and some more of her hippy collection, and first she leaned to the side staring at me with her stoned uncaring eyes and farted a loud long one, and then a stoned smirk.
She said nothing about it, just went on like it was natural.
She farted a few times that afternoon and early evening. This was in high school when I was just getting to know my game as hooking up with a girl, but had a long way to go. So I didn't fuck her. Just got high and later had some friends over to get drunk and pass out.
man if I knew the things I know now.
I have other pot smoking girls farting stories. perhaps this should be in a new thread.

[1313Jr.1313]

This was worth quoting.

glad somebody got it

[FartPallette69]

Well I saw it before, but noticed you tried to get cute with me in one thread, so i decided to bat my eye lashes back.

[1313Jr.1313]

seriously though... it feels like most of my humor goes unobserved. thank you for single handedly proving otherwise.

[yapyepyo]

Alright, the report.

I made chili with chicken, leek, paprika, red onions and brown beans. She drank 2 cans of beer, which is 1 liter. We raced 2 times who could eat a portion faster (she actually won one :O) and then had another one. After dinner she ate a mix of nuts which we call something like student oat translated. We watched a movie, and after a few hours she only let 1 decent fart go. So it wasn't really a succes. We still had lots of sex so I enjoyed myself plenty.

The morning after was horrible. When she wakes up and has to fart, she'll push her butt gently against my crotch and then try to let one out that will vibrate on my balls. This morning the only thing coming out was PFFFFFFFFT. And there were lots more of those. They stank soooo bad. Rotten eggs, but REALLLY bad, eye watering bad. So I guess I'll try something else next time :p.

[afangorn]

Let this be a lesson to everyone, gas takes time to work its way out. Late lunch is a better meal to plan with your significant other to gas them up for a fun evening.

[IGFarben]

hot sauce seems to do the trick too

[Guzara]

thanks for the report man, next time more luck haha